blahhrh

2009-11-03T01:38:00.001+08:00

we all lead one life.

in one minute. we can choose to be happy OR sad/angry and whatever not.

if it was me few years back i rather spend my time depressing myself -_- but now...i'll lead my life to its fullest.

you?

2009-11-03T01:34:00.001+08:00

-__-

is it that hard. to stay happy in life. lol.

2009-11-01T03:13:00.002+08:00

:) learnt something tonight. ahah.

life's not about..what you do to it. not about what you do with it. but what you feel about it.

well let's get this straight. i rather be contented with a simple life which allows me to stay happy laugh at anything and everything i want. rather than to fit in into a social stigma that i'll eventually drown myself in. later, i'm lost and gone.

not everything others do may make me happy. it may look happy on the surface but given some thought...things might not appear so :(

well! live life to its fullest! and it's partially by going through all the different kinds of experiences! but it's more about staying positive and happy, thinking that what you are doing is right and is something you truly enjoy!

2009-10-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

the worst feeling is when..

you know you can help.

you try to help.

you cant help.

you watch helplessly.

you lose yourself.

you lose your way.

you dunno how to help yourself even.

haiz. keep holding on.!

2009-10-06T23:53:00.002+08:00

SERIOUSLY. all i wanna say is FUCK OFF.

you had YOUR LIFE. but I HAVEN? FUCKING SHIT. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKUFCKFUCKUFKCUFKCUKFUCKUFKFUKCUKFUKCUKFUKU KFUKCUKFUKUKFUKFUCKUCKUKFUKCUFKUKUFKUCKUKFUFKCUKFUFKCKCUKCUFKUKCUCKUKFUKUKUFKUKUCKC.

FUCK OFF.

2009-10-06T00:42:00.002+08:00

life's back to normal. :) maybe it's the stress level that has dominated my mind recently and stuff...but i found myself again! HAHA. at least im happier once again.

clear of what i have to do, and what it takes for me to do them :)

nicholas is going allllllll out to FIGHHTTT. WHOOOOOOOOOO! :D

this world is going to be a happy world LOLLL. (everything's about HOW I SEE MYSELF LOLLLLL)

tata! BOOMZSZSZ! AHHAHA

2009-10-04T22:02:00.000+08:00

passivity.

i know. but i cant just move forward.

2009-10-04T00:19:00.003+08:00

hearing this song.

making me think.

sometimes thinking makes you grow.

sometimes it makes you outgrow yourself

im running off again.

i dunno what's this feeling overwhelming me.

it hasn't been like this 15 years of my life.

and now it has.

the distance.

is killing.

2009-10-03T14:12:00.001+08:00

left mep.

yay -.-

2009-09-27T02:53:00.001+08:00

no i will not change to be like her.

no.

never.

must not.

nicholas. revert.

2009-09-24T20:08:00.001+08:00

must zhi zu! :)

wasting time

2009-09-23T02:08:00.002+08:00

i got no idea why i keep wasting time. procrastinating.

i told myself i won't. but i still did anyway.

and up until now i cant differentiate between a sitar and a sarod. after so many months.

There's so much to do to catch up. But i seriously dunno what I'm doing.

It's time to wake up. Now.

2009-09-22T19:12:00.003+08:00

ahh. and the feeling is back again. When you feel cold inside, cause your mind and your heart tells you so.

it had never left me i guess...just that all this time i kept myself bz so the feeling wouldn't exist. But now that i have nth to do other den studying...the feeling is creeping back. slowly eating me again.

It has always been in my beliefs, and i would really like to stand by it. But sometimes standing by beliefs will prove a tiring and hard task. So tiring it wears you down and you really don't want to face reality again.

It's in me. It's become my blood, my character, and who I am. But I know I can't handle this alone. But I'm what i have.

i want a job. for the $$ :) and for the sake of living a more enjoyable life (probably). I really don't want to feel this anymore. But i know i'll always be running away...

When can i face it and change. Left there with the broken puzzles scattered.

friend?

2009-09-22T02:55:00.000+08:00

when it's too tiring to keep a friend.

that person might not even be a friend. :)

I'm tired. and i am enough of trying. :) carry on your life and i'll carry on mine.

It's through after we have settled the debts.

peace?

2009-09-21T01:14:00.002+08:00

HAHA. as cliche as this may sound...but i really really really wish for world peace.

harmony between countries.

harmony between races.

harmony between religion.

harmony in family

harmony between friends.

harmony between you and i.

Okay. truthfully it's not like i want it all the time -_- maybe sometimes i get really irritated with my mom for ranting at me ENDLESSLY. but at the end of the day. well, at least there's someone to rant at me HAHA. and the stuff she tells me sorts of...improve of GP LOL. or makes me laugh. ;D but at time's i'll just choose to ignore -_-

like watching phantom of the opera just now and she was behind me telling me about my fair lady LOLL. come to think about it it's quite retarded -_- lol. but there's always something to laugh at HAHA.

I kinddoff wish to have harmony in my family cause i got NO IDEA what will happen in the near future. I have already spent 17 years in this world -_- and who knows how many more 17 years are there to come. But I REALLY hope my brother would think for his A levels and probably STOP FB'ING or watching videos even now.. but i seriously don't give a damn anymore. He probably don't realise it but...it hurts others around him who worry about him (not me) and hurt HIMSELF in time to come. Wise up lah -_-

I'll be 18 in 1 year's time, and it's the sort of..adult age already lol. I realised it when i stepped on this woman's shoe and her bf sort of F'ed me but i ignored and just walked away cause i said sorry alot of times...

But it dawned on me that sorry no longer holds when you are 18 ahhhaa. Everyone sees you as an adult already. Well probably the thing i could have done is...i dunno? BUY HER NEW SHOES? SEND HER TO A DOCTOR? lol. but well..the age whereby you can make mistakes is vanishing soon....

And well..i really really wanna spend my time well in DHS for the next 1 year...or at least spend sometime with the ppl i noe or at least...wanna know? haha. Well...I'm not exactly dao =/ but I SERIOUSLY dunno how to approach people i dunno. haiz. Even when i know them..i dunno how to start topics and stuff.

Undeniably, I'm an introvert.

And if there's something i know about myself, i know i need to build up my confidence. Confidence about myself. Confidence about meeting others. Confidence in whatever i do. But sorry. Low self-esteem's not gonna help haha.

I got no idea when i will wise up and look at myself differently before i can change for the better. This 'lack of confidence' thing has already caused me so many failures and it's starting to annoy me...but i got no idea...what to do. =/

Even saying 'hi' is hard sometimes cause i really got no idea how to...or what will happen after that. Am i too 'uncool' to even say 'hi'. :( hahaha. Or are there any consequences in even saying 'hi', talking to others.

I never really believed in cliques but sometimes i really wished i joined a clique but most of the time, i don't haha. Cause I'll see many others who are clique'less, those who are unconfident of themselves like I am, those who are feeling lonely and stuff. I'll approach them, to make them feel comfortable in all ways. Cheer their lives up hopefully for the better.

Maybe I'm fake all over. My laughter and my smiles. But they are for the people around me and sometimes i feel...I don't really matter do I haha.

I don't need anyone to care for me, but i really want to care for others. For no particular reason, maybe i had some childhood tragedy HAHAHA.

But I really hope you guys won't regret as your lives pass and stuff..and hopefully this harmony thing will thrive among us and I'll get to see more smiles around us HAHAHA.

Smiles light up my day :) Thanks all. :DD

2009-09-05T00:06:00.003+08:00

DONCHA JUST LOVE PROMOS. lol! especially when you have to tackle both promos and pw simultaneously -.- lol

life is as draining as always with bits and pieces of funny stuff to laugh about at random moments LOLL. and sadly...9 months gone le. means i have 1.25 years in DHS left :( may be good may be bad but who knows! hahaha.

anw! really wanna thank ppl who gave me presents and helped me celebrated my bday :D

bram and xunlin who forgot my bday and planned sth for me :D

thank you ____ for the cake! :D

thank you xunlin (i tink? haha) for the cup!

van and ching for the card ;D

yixiu and er xiu for randomly poppping by when i was studying for physics test.

pris rachel linda daniel and ben for the lunch

bram for the cap LOLL

eli and liying for the surprise flower, sweets and NICE CARD AHHAAH

and mep class for the almost qinshihuang ting ;D

and all the other ppl who wished me via sms, facebook, or here and there ;D

thank you thank you!

haha. i din really even intend to celebrate my bday cause i was too tired that week. lol. i just wished for sleep and i managed to get it HAHAHA. :D and that's all that matters isn't it.

im going to get you back!

(NOT TO FORGET: MR BUMP FROM SIMIN LOL. sorry! HAHA)

2009-06-28T18:51:00.001+08:00

my blog has became wonderfully white.
lovely colour lols. stupid lah i tink the host removed the pics and stuff zzz. now my blog is officially naked.

CTs.
Cant wait for it to be over.
Don't want it to come.
Please don't make it last forever.

AHHH. sometimes it's the WAITING part that really KILLLLS you. esp when the actual ting isn't that bad. but now..it's bad..

i've never really felt so unconfident before =/ ahh.

and the feelings here...

2009-06-28T03:46:00.002+08:00

NICHOLAS QUAH IS OFFICIALLY DEAD.

FROM PRE CTs. AHHHHHHHHH.

PLEASE STUDY FINISH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

2009-06-25T01:26:00.002+08:00

AHH. randomness -.- suddenly feel like blogging. cause i was damn sian just now -.- den on tv got project runway sia hAHA.

den de woman quite poor thing lah -.- her design sense really damn bad -.- when the judge say her gown look like REPTILE. she still think very funny and it's a compliment -.- even when the person told her look like scales -.- she took it as a compliment cuz she wanted it to look like scales like wth -.-

and everyone was damn disgusted by her design. and she was super sure of herself. den she like heck care all the other ppl's criticism about her cuz she looks like she tinks it's bullshit. but the sad part is when...

the ppl start to come clean and insult her design in her face. quite sad. and the other 3 contestants like together le. and after this ting...she outcasted herself. o.o when she looks like the crazy crazy friendly type of person. den everyone damn hostile towards her too ahh. sad case lah -.-

den start to tink lorh. damn scary esp. when u dunno wad ppl's talking about you. even when some of them aren't even true they are still refering it to you rite? =/ ahh.

why cant we just lead life happily T.T haiz.

2009-06-25T00:42:00.002+08:00

ahh. i realised my blog is quite useless now HAHA. cuz i dun even post anyting le haha. not that i have nth to post..more like too sian to post HAHAA.

but well..i've been studying the past few days! (not alot but im glad i did =D ) though i dun tink i can finish studying haiz. i NEED to do well (and hopefully i will -.-) my brain shut down the moment i heard MAYBE GOT EXTENSION....but...

NO EXTENSION! yay -_- singapore has once against proved...MINORITY WINS! HAHAH. 3% of the voters want school to cont. and yea...THEY WON! grats! lols. but h1n1 is REALLY annoying now that it has arrived. AYG is SAD. damn sad -.- and the school is going crazy liao o.o

but it's quite funnie how everyone gets so paranoid. but indeed...there's a need to be paranoid. haiz. now i scared is centerstage finale night cannot go on! AHHH. hopefully all is welll! WE CANN DO THIS. haha.

and i tink lu guang zhong's songs are DAMN nice haha. i wanna go his concert if he ever has one! and im going to pia job this year if i hopefully get it. so i can...decrease my reliance on my parents? HAHA. and at the same time buy stuff i wanna buy -_- my last year's pay all goes to YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENTS gr.. ahaha.

and whoo! today studied with xunlin and huibin and...we see GOOD NEWS. not good news but "GOOD NEWS" the name of the cafeteria in the library LOLS. they were setting up stuff but NOT SELLING STUFF LOLS. den we were wondering why -.-

until the man instructor or boss or sth demo to them how to scoop icecream LOL. it was their TRAINING DAY haha. and their convos are quite funnie HAHAH. (i was eavesdropping o.o)

and well! life's stressing out! but im taking it...quite well i guess! haha. i won't force myself to study if i dun want to -.- cause i noe nth will go in hAHHA. so just slack lorh -.- but now is the stage whereby i SLACK TOO MUCH. die liao T.T

but life goes on! haha. LAUGH ON! HAHA

TEMPORARY SKIN =D

2009-06-11T23:29:00.001+08:00

WAIT TILL I CHANGE THIS TEMPORARY SKIN...

which wun be that soon -.-

2009-06-07T00:47:00.001+08:00

ahh. today was damn messy T.T

maybe i should learn nt...mess up so much HAHAH. should start making decisions? HAHA. but no idea if the more decisions i make..the more messed up things will be...

but it's over...haha. =/

ahh. now for CENTERSTAGE! whoo. no more flopping! =/

i nid to be imba HAHAHA.

2009-06-03T00:33:00.003+08:00

ahh im so tempted to close my blog temporarily -_- it needs a new playlist. and definitely.

a new blogskin -.-

AHHH

2009-06-03T00:21:00.001+08:00

ZZ. i kinddoff miss my blog but there's really NO TIME for blogging these few days ahha. at least the mine stuff are gone! whooo!

and i realised i cant be THAT imba as what i hoped to be T.T

in the end i FLOPPED physics and chem and maths.

it's time to catch up again mannnn...

i under when's my next blogpost gonna be (soon..on centerstage blog -.-)

2009-05-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

disappointment then and again -.-

aiya whatever lah. do you really think u noe what im thinking?

2009-05-23T07:29:00.002+08:00

AHHHHHH. hate it when ppl dun see ur efforts -.- and even worse...give marks higher for the one u gave the least efforts too aaha.

but for this whole ting to be so academic in the first place is wrong -.- ahhhh whatever. i gave up arguing over it. so subjective i dun even want to continue

it's somewad like syf -.-

2009-05-18T23:30:00.002+08:00

ahh! so sorry SO BUSY THESE FEW DAYS! zzzz. but at least i went SE concert! haha. and i absolutely hate PAC =/ not a good investment srsly...the sound is horrible in that hall...doesn't even resonate. zzzzz

ahh whatever. but SE was good ;)

so much stuff to do these days. if i managed to settle band and centerstage stuff and cope well with my studies...IM GOD MAN HAHAHA. i shall try! ;DDD but the studies part -.- dun tink can le ahhaa. cuz i cant really be bothered -.-

i rather do practical stuff zzz but...GP TEST! zzzz. ahh. okay. and i dun wan to flop anymore tests. better mug 2nite ;)

welL! im not that stressed out i tink =/ dunno why haah. but im really tired =/ i want to sleep. please.

ahh. and the response from the centerstage blog is making me feel that everyting's not worth while =/

im tired T.T

2009-05-12T00:39:00.001+08:00

AHHH! HAHAHAH. I CANT BELIEVE I SPENT LIKE
DUNNO HOW LONG DOING CENTERSTAGE BLOG
BUT IT'S NICE;D
YAY

FK MY PRINTER NOT PRINTING GRAY PRINT WEIRD COLOURS FREAk

2009-05-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

zzzz. i thought i was okay =/ now im sure if i am -.-

it's not something..personal. it's the people ard me that's sort of...affecting my mood -.- cause i starting thinking...from another perspective. and it's...kinddoff painful to be in some one else's shoe. =/

i got no idea wad to do think -.-

reality is not cruel -.- lols. it's WEIRD. haha. seriously. like the whole concept is wrong already. it's quite sad to see what you have become =/ ah. what happened to the you i would PROBABLY live for haha. you are not a tool.

people. wake up. stop mistreating it! =/

2009-05-07T01:00:00.002+08:00

haha. it's not that i dont care most of the time -.- it's not that like when im crazy i dun care or wadever -.- just that...i don't see things TOO seriously.

taking things easier makes your life easier. makes ur life happier. so...why not?

i once took things too seriously. and i come to realise. we are only students? people around us are saying how immature we are and stuff. so i think...we SHOULD feel abit more immature now. fit our age. fit our identity. suit our lives.

let's lead a happier life cant we :) chill! :D there's so many stuff out there we can look forward to! there's a time for work...but there's DEFINITELY time for play! :DDD

2009-05-07T00:35:00.002+08:00

YAY. haha. i came home and my mother tell me my sis's hamster gone missing.

and i just found it! :D haha. it was hiding under some random stool :) haha. glad it's back! :D

2009-05-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

ah. i nid a new blogskin. and new MUSIC. my playlist is screwed up with previews -.- zzzzzzz.

ah. unlucky 2 weeks with loads of sicknesses -.- zzz. but 2morow's syf! must do well! gambate ;)

2009-04-30T23:07:00.002+08:00

ah. im EXTREMELY tired EXTREMELY easily now.

wednesday was horrible. i was dizzy the entire day but i managed to survive it =/ but the feeling was really horrible. i just slpt through physics, chem lectures. and parts of band when i can slp. zzzzzzzzzz. i din really feel me -.- like my soul is a few cm from my body -.- zzz.

finally when i woke up 2day i felt more me. den i finished my pi in the morning. :) thank god mr tan replied my email in the morning and i chionged it in the morning! but realy was damn tired at first -.- handed in pi. walked to macs with bram to eat. wahkao. walk le. den the feeling come back again -.- damn dizzy -.-

and it was like tad the rest of the day. until i came home and slpt agian -.- now im stil feeling that feeling zzz. hope i get better SOONER. freak -.- zzzzzzzz. my body is finally crying out -.- zzzz. zao fan zzzzzzz.

aiya wadever lah. and cuz of this im EXTREMELY irritated by msn convos. certain ppl around me and stuff.ahh. and the fucking internet this laptop has is retarded. cuz it cuts off every 15min. wtf lah. how to solve ah -.-

and im feeling extremely vulgar too these days -.- ahh. 2morow must wake up early T.T

2009-04-27T13:51:00.000+08:00

ahhh -.-

i nid to get back onto the track soon zzzzzzzzzz.

hope can recover soon zzz

2009-04-24T22:16:00.000+08:00

freak. damn bad headache. feels like i got brain tumour or sth -.-

ah. anw. AHH. sorry geneve! =/ though i dun tink you will read this blog but..sorry for the power trip! gosh =/ altogether i broke 1 fire alarm. and tripped the power twice in dhs -.- gosh. i tink. i should stop before the school expels me -.-

ahh. anw. damn AP week. maybe not enuff rest or sth...but...haiz. sorry if i AP you or sth! but...SERIOUSLY. some ppl should noe WHEN TO STOP. some 2 particular ppl -.- zzz.

2009-04-20T22:43:00.001+08:00

ahh! i cant believed i STRIPPED...my laptop! ahha. of it's plastic =(

now it's so naked GRR. and unprotected ahhh. nvm ;) haha. now chio-er haha. but i have the same as weijie i realised! o.o

anw! ;D i passed 5 items. WHOOO! haha. standing broad jump was damn scary -.- i failed by 1 cm. and later improved by 25 cm ;DDD all the world's a wonder -.-

and im starting to hate..STH about my life...ahh. perceptions -.-

2009-04-18T22:08:00.001+08:00

ahh. more people are falling ill =/

and im having this headache tad's killing me now -.- zzzz.

anw! woah! this week is FINALLY over! ;DDD craziest week with all the chionging and the "to slp or not to slp" kind of ting. and well..it's over ;) definitely NOT memorable -.- haha.

and today got band :) and well...now that the week's over..i lost motivation to do any work. and it seems like there's no work anw -.- zzzzzzzzz.

SEEMS. haiz -.- wait til i find my motivation to fight on again! haha. for now ;) slack! =DDD

2009-04-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

interpretations. something subjective and personal. how do people judge interpretations? based on their own interpretations? ahh.

sometimes i think we cannot really consider a wide range of perspectives like in music -.- zzzz. quite annoying sometimes how one's "musicalicity" becomes "manipulation" and how one's "rubatos" becomes "tempo shifts", and "drive" becomes "rush". different points of views will have different interpretations bah...so how do ppl..see music then o.o and even judge music...

best way is to conform. but if we conform..there's not much of personality and exploration left o.o ahh.

this SO applies to piano lessons -.- im starting to agree to the 'conformed' notion. and im starting to like it. but putting character into music..HMM. ahha.

SYF's coming real soon =/ must work harder!

2009-04-11T01:00:00.004+08:00

okay. i have learnt the idea of not being subjective...but i dunno how to change sia o.o have to think from different perspectives instantly is hard =/ ahh. and applied sth so complexed somemore T.T

music is complicated. but it's the mystery behind it that makes it interesting. making us dig deep into it. good stuff ;D haha.

anw. just watch 45 min of the horror film on channel u about the twins one. im so glad i dun have a twin -.- but at the same time..i actually don't mind having a twin =/ it seems no one can really read my mind o.O. sometimes. ahha.

sometimes i dun understand why the worst things happen to the nicest ppl in the world. not that the first impression i have on him is good =/ he f-ed me right in the face on the first day of lesson o.o but he made a good point.

it's not that i don't have time. everyone has time. it's a matter of how you spend it.

it's quite stupid how i thout i totaly din have any time for tuition or whatsoever. but..im coping fine now aren't i =D but it's quite sad and scary that it has to happen. i dont really hate the word hospitals. i hate the word hospital when it is used on the ppl around me. i fear their death. i dunno if i fear my death. but sometimes life's so unpredictable. who knows. he may just...change so much the next time i see him. he's probably one of the most sincere teachers i have seen ever. he's not really a fabulous teacher, but he defintely teaches from the heart, and i have learnt loads from him. he makes me rethink about thinking: teaching is about making the student enjoy learning. and yes, i really felt it.

but when the symptoms drive in, i fear. why him? is it heaven's call to him? why grab him so soon when he hasn't spent his life yet. his passion has yet to be fulfilled. and he lives wrong.

i hope nth wrong's with you! ;D hope you will be fine. and i know you will be...you got LOADS more of students to teach so dun worry! haha.

for once i was so scared i wouldn't see you in the next lesson -.- lols. okay maybe im over-reacting haha. but a surge of sorrow just went through me =/ i hate to see people leave. teachers leave. ahhh. esp inspirational ones haha.

i wonder how im going to take it after y6. =/ seeing everyone everyday..seems so natural already ppl take it for granted =/ when the day comes and we split...we wun get to see these people anymore do we. the ones we know..but don't know. the ones we don't know..but we know...ahh.

i don't want to regret anymore. ive done so much stupid stuff this year...i dun mind doing more ;D i'll get used to it. what will the future be =/

staytuned.

2009-04-07T20:23:00.002+08:00

ahh. supposed to go mep lib to study after school. in the end i slpt there for 1hr -.-

came home and slpt for another 3 hours.

need to study! =/ maths test maths test. not to forget...the chem tutorial i must hand in cuz i din do? -.- aiya wadever larh. i tried. could not get the answer for the 'easiest' questions. and found no point doing the tutorial -.-

not that there's no point. but im too overwhelmed by H3 research im too tired to even study other topics.

and today was...quite an emo day after school =/

i am defeated.

2009-04-06T01:53:00.002+08:00

watch me fight the next 2 weeks man. i MUST get through them :) this coming week...gp essay. loads of research to do for H3. chiong H3 by monday. sat wed got band. centerstage publicity stuff. try to do band stuff (if any -.-) prac piano AND trumpet.

next week. physics test. monday evening - mep workshop. tues evening - mep workshop. wed - SYF prac til night. thurs morning mep scholarship interview ( MUST GET IT ). sat band exchange. not to forget anything else in between i nid to help with -.-

aiya. haha. shouldn't be a prob for me! :D i think...

2009-04-05T22:59:00.003+08:00

conclusion: i think i'll stay single all my life. HAHAHA.

ahh. dunno why i came to this conclusion -.- but im abit sian'ed by the whole concept of it HAHAH. well! who noes :D

well. today was like MUSIC DAY -.- with piano. trumpet. and H3 research! whooooo.! super fun sia -.- just tad my H3 research was on ART. haha. i wonder how AEP ppl understand their art stuff man -.-

but i sure learnt loads. ;D like claude monet! haha. but sadly...MY GP! AHHH. die le -.- and my maths test. and all my other nonsense.

sometimes i wish life will just stop. ahha...

and well! today i was such an embarrassment -.- basically i wanted to buy food at the food court in bugis. den i went to the store. and stand there. den i realised...the person beside me like staring at me. and his food is like taking forever to come (not his fault lols -.-)

den i looked. it's this guy in black shirt. den i thout -.- wadver lorh haha. den i realised. he was laughing at me -.- den i never see the face properly at first haha. den i turned up and i realised -.- it was derek -.- he spent the whole time laughing at me -.- cuz apparently he see me damn long le -.- but wad was more embarrassing was that...

i asked this really stupid question: how come no one ask me what i want one -.-
he replied: cuz the queue is there? (points at the other end of the line)

omg -.- no place to hide sia haha. -.-

HAHA. but it's worth the laugh LOL. i realise that i do the stupidest tings sometimes -.- but actually...there's nth to regret is there ;)

all for the sake of laughter. and joy ;) to me. and the rest of you guys.

2009-04-05T02:20:00.002+08:00

okay. -.- really bad cold today ahh. even panadol din help. but was moving around anw -.- haha.

shockingly. =D i got a new laptop. and a new piano. craziness -.- yes. spent like..one month of my parent's salary probably? haha. though i dunno how much they earn -.-

yes. shocking.

and my father's going off 2morrow morning.

haha. and now i got to make my choice. health or work. and i think i sort of made the choice already =/ but i dunno if i will regret it next time...

live the present? or consider the future?

2009-03-30T23:49:00.001+08:00

why am i so fearful all over again =/

where will i run to. and..when can i stop =(

2009-03-30T23:39:00.001+08:00

ahhhhhhhhhh. i keep slping this week.

not that im feeling more tired den any other weeks but...this week there's nth to look forward to! and there's no motivation and wadsoever! =( im just damn tired.

school sucks now. day by day by day. and im actually starting to feel more scared as wednesday arrives =/

and friday. >=(

yes. they will do it! :D

2009-03-25T23:16:00.003+08:00

am i going to fail for the same reason again =/

i hope not!

it's time to rethink again. and...heck care some parts? and MOVE ON!

2009-03-25T21:56:00.002+08:00

i MUST be imba. :D must mug and do whatever i can now!

for all i know. i realised i have super high expectations of myself -.- i'll somehow have 3 times the expectations of what others have on me o.o

i scared i cant take it =/ but i know i must. and i cannot fall. cause if i fall -.- haha. there's ALOT of problems to come i.e. my mother who will say blah blah i never take care of myself and stuff -.- ahha

anw! SC invest was formal o.o and was damn funnie at the back! lols. esp the bimbos and...EVERyTHING ELSE ;DD

2009-03-25T21:52:00.000+08:00

so not in the mood to do anything now =/

tired of life again -.-

2009-03-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

haha. GP lesson had this...lesson on maturity? and some model of maturity which i SERIOUSLY dun agree. three stages which has to go by chronological order: physical, mental+emotional, spiritual.

I think i dematured can -.- cause if i really think about it =/ i tink i sort of reached all three stage before =/ but seriously. i think it's TOO YOUNG? haha. i shall not let my youth go to waste -.- zzzzzzz. so i dematured :D which is quite cool actuallly.

what's youth without joy and no worries? live life to the fullest. not just the fullest. the happiest!

2009-03-22T22:23:00.002+08:00

Ahh. it's stupid how i have tuition on SUNDAY right in the middle of no where -.- 2pm. zzzzzzz. i cant take part in any cip and stuff even if i want to! GRRR. i wanna paint houses. sell stuff. cause i tink it will be damn fun...but...THIS STUPID TUITION NO REFUND ONE WTHH. ZZZZZ.

and i slpt THROUGHOUT today's 2 hrs lesson. gosh -.-

well! i feel..inspired? by this story ahaha.

There's this fish in the sea. Really really really happy fish. Swimming around cause it has nothing to worry about except for having not enough fun. It just moves around. Swimming thoughlessly, and without worries of anything to come. _______________-- and the other portions are probably censored HAHAH.

AHH. I'm still thinking about alot of stuff. Don't ask me why -.- it's no longer about IT but IT. lols.

and mep is driving me nuts ;) but nuts is fun =DDD

2009-03-21T22:43:00.003+08:00

omg -.- i think i get damn paranoid after mr ng's speech about...good scent for no reasion = ghost. tad time i go staff toilet den have this damn xiang smell den i sia dao. den i went out -.- actually is have air freshener lols.

but just now i bathe quite scary leh =/ suddenly have this cotton candy like smell. o.o ahh.

and i'm half blind now. no idea why. it's like i can only see half of the laptop screen. The left is blur. and the right is filled with patches of darkness. im half blind literally =/

2009-03-21T22:24:00.002+08:00

well band camp is finally over. =D can rest my lips which changed colour -.- even meihui noticed lols. anw...i raised the flag today =D and...i managed to in sync with the tpts leh! yay hahaha.

miracle lols.

and right after it i had the mass piano lesson. and esplanade research =D haha.

mass piano lesson was quite fun! though i srsly flunk the piece and everyone was FULL OF COMPLAINS of it -.- zzzzzzz. but well! the ppl there are pro ppl lah O.O ahhhh. but it was fun! have the novita person! hahah. who was...quite funnie lols. okay i dun really noe her name also -.- lols.

and well! have damn pro ppl there -.- with really really really different interpretations from mine..esp when theirs is quite similar..ahhh. =/ so they quite against mine zzzzz. aiya. wadeverr lahh hahaha. i had my share of fun =D

then i went esplanade do research til like...9? haha. for programme notes -.- and wow. i din really gain alot of knowledge. cuz i kip falling aslp. got quite pissed with myself. den i bought the 5 bucks cappuccino (damn ex >=( ) but i managed to read more ;D

Been thinking alot suddenly. I wished I didn't know, but now that I know...=/ I've been thinking so much suddenly these days. Whereever i go i start to think. And im the sort who will go and overthink about stuff one. But it's long since i thought that much o.o And i came up with a conclusion. =D

All this time that my body manages my mind. I tink it's time my mind starts to work and manage my body. =D And i shall...go past my limits further ;D Im trying to sleep later haha. I realised. I got so much stuff to do that I never really put an effort in. Like MEP. Now it's time for it. =/

But ahh. I think I'm at my limit now -.- my vision got lines le. Crap. Damn bad. And i keep imagine got people call my name. -.-Gosh. I wanna sleep.

But I refuse to, cause I know there's stuff to be done.

2009-03-21T00:42:00.001+08:00

NICHOLAS HAS OFFICIALLY STOPPED THINKING (thinking more will only make him go crazy -.- ahhaha)

NIGHT!

2009-03-21T00:19:00.002+08:00

some things come as a surprise. which can be too sudden. TOO SUDDEN.

at first cannot feel now start to feel le...good thing rite :D

today we had this really cool combined concert ting! i had this stupid unresponsive mouth. which doesn't want to play notes i command it to play! haha. fatigue u call it. i hope so =/ and i really feel so. but..the concert stirred up my emotions. just cuz of one sentence by cuimeng/zhiyin: greet mrs low and .....

the first thing i heard was mrs loke o.o and i was looking so frantically for her. den i realised it's mrs low -.- but i just realised how sad i was that she left sia! haha. really kinddoff missed her. she was the teacher who reallly...understood me? i guess. haiz

where are you now -.-

2009-03-17T01:31:00.002+08:00

some people inspiring....cause they can really do stuff that is inspiring.

hmmm.

was thinking and thinking. and i realised...i dun tink im the inspiring sort! =D ahaha. it's not exactly a good thing -.- but i think..i'm better at support than the front line type of person? o.o ahhhh. road of self discovery -.-

2009-03-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

Haha. Yet again another sudden realisation -.-

It's not about how bonded other people are that affects us rite o.o like between houses and stuff. Not like if some people super bonded will affect you like super alot right. Dunno leh. Sometimes bonds will make people will edgy and stuff but bottomline is: is there a point to this? =/ Why feel so flustered over others' joy or something.

Was thinking about stuff suddenly. Then i suddenly realise there are so much stuff and blindspots i face.

Most importantly enjoy yourself to the max. Isn't that the whole point of life?

Went NUS open house today. Don't ask me why i went -.- haha. but i met quite alot of dhs ppl -.- including xumei (i saw her. stand in front of her. but dunno if she saw me not -.- she can be quite blind lols) And well. I felt super young there lols. But i realised that university life and JC life might not be so different after all. Presentations, networking - isn't that part of school life now?

And i just realised how much an introvert I am, and how much it's time to open up or I'll probably suffer next time for networking or something? And it's time to take presentations more seriously -.- lols.

Ahh. Life sucks. But will try to make it better! =D

2009-03-14T23:23:00.001+08:00

Really. If you really think so and u're far too tired to continue. Don't force yourself to do it. Don't care. REALLY. What's the point of caring. Then blame others for making you care?

If you really think what you are thinking now is so right. Heck.

I knew nth can come this far from you. And you've proven me right again.

2009-03-13T21:53:00.002+08:00

Selfish? I got no idea. I was told everyone is selfish to some extent. and now someone throws this word at me. I got no idea what to say. No idea how to respond to it -.- And the main reason is cause: I'm not responsible for my own health condition.

I got no idea what's happening to me or whatever but. Seriously. There's some things i cant change in life which is really tiring me down alot. And cause of that i sort of given up the thought partly.

I haven felt escapism for quite a long time. 1month? or 2months? but yesterday was the exact scenerio i faced 1 week before school reopen: I cant wake up cause i was too tired to face life. Im too tired to face everything i had to do. But i had to do it somehow =/ But i chose to escape.

School's finally ending and i can finally get my break and energy boost. I'm really sorry to have been annoyed by many people (though sometimes i don't show it or sometimes i do), or to have ap'ed you or something. But I really don't mean it! It's probably the fatigue that causes me to have a really low tolerance level and i really have to apologise about that! =/

And come to think of it....rounding up term 1. My term one has sort of been...a string of failure events for me? lols. But at the same time, I'm glad these failures happened actually, cause i found out more about the truths of life. And i found myself.

But my new founded self still face the same problems. Am i new then?

All i really want is to lead a happy life i guess =/ even if I feel really sad or sth, laughter will surface. Forced or not. I can sense feelings of others rather well i guess =/ and i rather be the one who tears myself apart to cheer everyone up. =D Cause it's all worth it.

What's better than bringing smiles to people's faces =D

2009-03-13T02:15:00.001+08:00

AHHH. it's 215 already and i just started studying physics.

i tink it's damn stupid to have..school -> holiday -> school -> ALOT OF HOLIDAYS.

wth. ttly no mood to study -.- zzzzzz. dammmmn.

2009-03-09T02:09:00.001+08:00

let's take a look at band..

ive been there four+ years of my life :) and it's time...i made myself more useful -.- lols. IM HERE CHEERING YOU GUYS ON! =DDD

2009-03-05T21:02:00.002+08:00

lols leh. i was on a potential low for the whole day -.- zzzzz. and i tink it's cuz of: 1) too much slp. 2) lack of caffeine. and i realised my addiction to coffee is REALLY bad until without it i will be like...O.O siannn. ahha

well. today was quite a normal day i guess -.- just tad i was damn low and everyting felt damn low too? just tad piano lesson was really...haha. kinddoff cool? haha. it's just a normal lesson. but i suddenly think...if i never had changed a teacher. i would never have learnt SO MUCH MORE. srsly CHANGE A PIANO TEACHER if u nid to -.-

it all happened last year since i changed my piano teacher that i learned about. colours. directions. everything. and this year tad meihui thout me that i learnt alot more about techniques. and...really fruitful year! =D

CO concert yesterday was okay. like previous years just tad dun have surprises like the last year yigang and bq's pfm. but the basket ting + bean ting quite cool. the effect was super nice. and..as usual me ben and ching were late. and we hai ningli and weijia also =/

reached home quite late. cabbed home with jeenise and rach. rach had a fever though bt the persistent minded woman came school today for bennu =O ahhah. and well. sieweng's sick too. now the mep class lacks bennu ppl. LOLS.

ahh. life's rather dry these days. and tests are spamming soon. quite annoying but -.- wad can we do??? ahha. yayness mann hahah

2009-03-01T12:37:00.002+08:00

today is SO not my day. the moment i wake up. i realised...my phone the select and dial button got prob. like WTF? wad did i even do to it lah .

and worse stil. after all those downloading and updating and stuff. the vids i nid to ms are still UNPLAYABLE. thanks man. so it only means i cant use them now.

and guess wad? when i want to have a new phone...it's eligibility date is...1month 11 days from now! WOW.

and thinking about all the homework makes me pissed.

wad's wrong today mann -.-

2009-02-28T00:01:00.002+08:00

OMG. can u believe this. THE WEEK IS FINALLY OVER. time to get some rest! haha.

i realised my blog will die REALLY SOON. so i better start updating now! haha. the week's with all the painting of house banners and stuff and they're REALLY looking great! super tiring work but realli...good stuff!

and really must thank ppl who helped out! esp. linda weijie yixiang xunlin and...WEICHENG! haha. he din even campaign and he's helping! =DD

btw..yesterday i was washing the brushes. when this retarded fly flew into the water and got its wings' wet. and it was stuck in the sink happily ever after -.- retardness HAHAH.

well! today was the funnest mep day :) with meihui performing for us! haha. and the performance vid was soo....MRS TAN HAHAHA. well well...haha.

anw. got quite pissed off with the 100 yesterday. cuz it tooked forever to come. and when it came. it was PACKED. and i got even more pissed when the ppl in the centre never move in. i really dun see why ppl complain about students who dun move in when they themselves dun realli move in -.- double standards. and i tink students are more willing to move in lorh! at least i do!

and this morning -.- i overshot aljunied by 8 stops lols. and ended past kallang. lols. den at kallang mrt there when the door open...GUESS WHO I SAW LOLS. joanne tay haha. but she was loooking now lols. turns out she's going for CROSS COUNTRY (yes. running! lols)

and mep scholarship application is FINALLY done and handed in. phew. the week is over! =D

2009-02-24T22:45:00.001+08:00

i can feel myself distintegrating.

2009-02-24T00:17:00.002+08:00

Try breaking my facade, try guessing my mood! Haha. i realised. It's actually quite hard to know what i'm feeling. For those who dunno me well might not even know what i feel is not really what i display.

I just realised I'm abit weird -.- lols. My hyper'ness is totally 0 in front of my family. maybe have a little bit lah haha. but i'm more me at home. hahha. at school im so happy i dun even know whether this happiness is truly felt -.-

e.g. i got no idea how i luff'ed so much at QUICKITCH 2day LOLs. i guess part of it was to let others have sth random to laugh about as well -.-

man! im weird LOLS

2009-02-22T00:37:00.002+08:00

OH MANNN. haha. i think im becoming more and more retarded after super lack of slp? i now...call ppl by their wrong names UNINTENTIONALLY. and kip switching on the wrong switches e.g. i switch on the lights of my room and expect the lights at my staircase to on -.- wow can zz

anw. happy bday jiamin! haha. we sortoff surprised her! hha. and i was in charge of buying the cake and present lols. saw ALOT of dhs ppl .and happens that my mother and sis were there too so i watched pink panther with them. and yes. it's a SUPER RETARDED SHOW that has quite alot of humour haha. cuz the guy is DAMM DAM DAM retarded SERIOUSLLY LOLS.

hope jiamin enjoyed her bday! ahha. pics on facebook :)

2009-02-19T18:37:00.002+08:00

whoo! haha. life's better than what i thought it will be and..YEA! im HAPPY! hahaha. =DD. anw. today is weicheng's bday! haha. so 4d bought him a cake and...WHOOO! hahaha. HAPpy bdAY weichENG LOLS. the SUPER retarded BOY hahaha. and well..he's 17 and OLDER THAN ME?! haha.

anw! these 2 days. have maths and chem test. i both also flunk. and chem was REALLY a disappointment. cuz chem was like...probably my best subject? and now it's converted to my worst i tink. DAMMNN. wad's wrong with me. TIME TO BUCK UPP! haha.

and...i feel that...it's improving! haha. though it's a REALLY difficult time..but im enjoying it ;) haha. im making it enjoyable ;) haha. i dun tink i really care about the ppl around me anymore hah. i feel CRAZY which is really cool haha. cuz u dun have to care about hw ppl around you see you as. i feel like an OPHELIA LOLLS. but seriously ;) it's fun to spread it ;)

and HMMM. well! 2morrow got physics test. though im REALLY scared..but..MUST JIAYOU NOW! haha.

linda's done with the house flag designs! whooo. haha. ;) tsunleong's idea. my draft. her finals. haha. and well...2day's mep was quite a flop too ahha. cuz apparently...when we were told to listen to track 4 and 5, i listened to track 6. haha. and ms tan's first reaction is..."silly boy" LOLS.

piano lesson just ended too! haha. and..im so in love with intermezzo op 118 no. 2 brahms ;) must jiayou for MEP SCHOLARSHIPPP!! CLINCH IT MANNNNNN!

i'll work REALLLLY hard these days. and this includes...SYF AND TPT! whoo! hope i'll be REALLY GOOD. and able to help the jnrs too =/ haha. i shall GAMMBBATTE! you too!

2009-02-16T23:19:00.001+08:00

gosh. this piece is SO nice. gosh. and his touch is SOOO freaking nice. ahh. like waves of memories with melodies o.o haha

anw! life's gonna be DIFFERENT from now on! haha. but..i'll be abit weird these few days! lols. like more low? haha. but dun worry! a new me will come! i hope =D haha!

GAMBATE TO MYSELF! haha

2009-02-15T18:56:00.002+08:00

damnn. im quite distracted now. zzzzzz. i think i need to prioratize my stuff now. =/ and since i got no SC in my life. i think i got loads more time to do alot of stuff. and i srsly dun wan to waste my time away.

...
...
...

ahh. i think i noe what to do

2009-02-15T10:24:00.001+08:00

yes. it's time i grow up.

2009-02-14T19:40:00.001+08:00

actualli. i dunno what im feeling now -.-

2009-02-14T18:59:00.003+08:00

happy vday ppl! =D hope you get mani mani chocolates and stuff haha. wel! just back from...boot camp! haha. damn tiring BUT FUN. and im not in DHSSHSC fyi. haha. but im not really sad or anyting...cuz the truth is...the ppl in it are REALLY CAPABLE! and are able to make your snr high lives SOOO much better!

so we had to meet up at 8 in the canteen. be4 that was just slacking and stuff ahha. and blowing balloons for the activity! did some cheers and later we moved up to the student lounge to have briefings and stuff. was quite crazy and high with the ppl around me. the usual retarded stuff lah lols. but..as things got more serious, high'ness just got splattered off totally hhaha.

esp in grp B meeting! hahaha. the game was really fun and it's quite cool to see how ppl stand out to lead. like sam leck, and alisa who were relatively quieter did the briefing, and pt for one of the overall in charge of the games. it's really cool cuz.. they aren't really them anymore. in just a matter of hours, they actually changed to such on and enthu people, it's so damn cool. imagine how much they can grow in 2 years?

the game was really fun (from my pov). and though troubles were started, somehow...dunno lah ahah. though we had loads of flunks and stuff, everyone agreed we enjoyed ourselves ;)

and we tuki'ed until grp A came ahha.

the next day we were told to wake up at 7, but we were woken up at 530? haha. den made to do alot of physical training stuff. hahah. the whole of today i was REALLY low hahah, and i din realli feel how i felt in orientation =/ that sense of drive. haha. bt it was somehow revived when we did cheers during our last physical activity ;) hahah.

anw! we went on to the canteen activity which was really fun and FUNNNIE LOLS. esp when ashley asked" DO I PUT THIS ON MY SHIRT" lols. and alot of shouting and stuff. but pt took the iniative and came up with the idea(i tink) of the KIRIN OI! thing to make as all SHUDDAPP haha. and WOW. seriously. alisa managed to lead REALLY well! with the help of sop and ros of cuz hahah. and yimei was REALLY good at thinking of words at first. she was really focused.

so the word we formed in the end was..suctioned! haha

tad's about it for the craziest games around! haha. den we had dialogue session which realli...made me think hahah. like all the changes we WANT TO make and the implications and stuff. everything's not that simple. hhah.

den have the tribal council thing haha. where we have to question one another and stuff haha. and shoot one another. and we agreed not to bitch about one another and stuff. and everyone really answered their questions truthfully and in such a way. it sounded REALLY sincere and REALLY nice.

til the extent when we had to boot out one person. i actually booted myself ahha. (yes i really did boot myself -.- retarded not ahha) TRUTHFULLY. why would i boot people who have grown SO much and have became so capable to where they are today?

Ashley probably so on and high. he's able to stir up the crowd with his retardedness and stuff haha. and he's mind REALLY moves fast when it comes to games or cheers and stuff. and he will make a really fun SC.

Candice too is damn funny and capable. she's realy friendly and approachable and frank. and she's really enthu too. she takes the iniative to help and realy helps to a really large extent! hahah. like she purposely give a question to the ppl who haven answered any question, for the sake of letting them talk.

Sophia. WHOA. ahha. she got the place she wanted! haha. but she's really a good balance btwn SC and house comm. :) serious and fun at the same time whether or not she want to! and well! she's REALLY capable and prom and stuff just proves everything.

Alisa really stood out during this whole boot camp and took the lead and did ANYTHING and EVERYTHING she could. and she was definitely decisive. SUPER decisive -.- sth i can never do lols.

Yimei is really nice lah. haha. seriously. nice sums it all though i dunno her well

Weihong stood out really well at the correct points of time during really: the correct stuff. He's DAMN good at reflecting i realised. his mind is like another world or sth -.- he has the super fun side and his craziness, and the drive that he cheers for others with. and i tink he will be responsible o.o

Pingteck was WOAH ahha. really stood up ALOT which was rather unlike him (probably cuz i dunno him well -.-) but that really changed my impression of him...ahah. 5C37 honour! =DD

Siswo. wow. ahhaa

Roseline. though not in the same grp as her for practically EVERYTHING. -.- but the house word challenge thing. she took over to shout instructions to the blindfolded ppl! she realli realli made the effort to do her best. and she's also damn funnie and retarded to be with -.-

haha. and the campaign and boot camp process was really fun and enjoyable haha. cuz realli learnt stuff about the school -.- which i never really knew. haha. and i met my mentor QINGYI! lols. who's really funie and spastic -.- o yah. and there's this speech everyone had to make. and weijie's speech really pierced into me. cuz it's the exact same thing for me =/ and worse still. now that im not in. hahah. i kinddoff gained nth out of it =/ but...whatever! hahaha =DDDD

well! congrats to all SHSCs! GAMBATEEE! WHOOO!

2009-02-10T21:52:00.002+08:00

IM SO SORRY BLOG! LOLS. i realised hw much i have been mistreating this blog! NOOOOOO. all thanks to facebook ahhaah.

btw! WHOO. i was unusually crazy today! and well =/ kind of rude cuz i was pretty crazy during chem haha. IM SOO SORRY XUMEI ahha. even though i sort of promised myself i'll do my best to treat u as a teacher den a student -.- but...o wells! haha. chem competition ting was FUNNIE lols. and i couldn't do my question. dammmmnnn.. grrr.! i lost to JARIB hahahah. KILLL HIMMMM. hahaha

btw! clas got new person =D hahaha. so now got even number le! =DDD. btw...

ms meeting was kinddoff fun cuz.. KARMAN the oo7 syndicate was abit crazy with me LOLL. all the nonsense stuff! haha.

im going to be happy LOL. thanks to the book shouyu donated to MEP lib =/ how to be happy or sth like that. was reading it during mep lib duty but i learnt quite a fair bit from it! =DD.

all this 16 years of my life...i haven really been living it. all i knew was to lead other else's ones.

and now..it's time for mine

2009-02-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

ahh. i got NO IDEA what's wrong with me but i cant seem to cheer up! probably just not used to it =/ haiz. but that's what life's about right? getting used to stuff ASAP. but it's sth im REALLY weak at since..dunno how many years ago.

was thinking about stuff like..so what? and...what if? really really hope i can change for the better! and...get used to stuff REALLY fast!

2009-02-08T00:55:00.000+08:00

OH GOD. i slacked today off! but i feel SOO MUCH BETTER WITH MORE SLP =DD haha.

just that i started to worry cuz i spent like 90 bucks of MY HARD EARNED MONEY...in just...2 weeks! GOD. wad am i doing zzzzzzzzz.

and i realised that..SYF IS COMING BE4 I NOE IT. and i BETTER START PRACTISING! mug for band sia =/ shall bring home my instru from now on! GAMBATE

2009-02-04T22:25:00.001+08:00

the hectic week is finally over with a failed speech and a failed QnA question, and a demoralising voting session. but..

it's all over! =D but fulfilling wad i promised will go on!

GAMBATE!

2009-02-04T00:01:00.002+08:00

I DECLARE MY LOVE FOR YESMAN! AHHA. yay. love you guys ALOT haha. damn fun to work with! =DDD. i finally finished my SCRIPT FOR 2MORROW! HAHAH.

it goes like that "hi. im nicholas. kirin rocks. vote for me" LOLL. okay it was my idea at first cuz i realli DUNNO WAD TO SAY ! HAHAHA. and well! i scared i flunk my speech 2mrw..but...GAMBATE! AHHHA =DDD

well! anw today mep i got lesson with MEIHUI! LOL. stressful cuz she's damn pro ahaha. but hear her play is really DAMN COOL AHHAHA. her tone is SUPER rich i realised =/ AHHHH. loads to do to catch up!

2009-02-02T23:09:00.002+08:00

haha. wad a hectic week of ups and downs. haha. well! at least i enjoyed myself. got to know dawn tan ahha. who is REALLY funnie n nice to work with! =D while bens is as blur as ever to leave his tags in some class -.- and xunlin's rather confident while moving around!

they boost and cheer me on! =DD. ahha.

so i decided not to really care anymore ;) haha. if i cared, i would have died long ago. thinking TOO much which isn't going to help at all. ahha. i guess everyone already have a conception of who will enter the top 11 shortlisted sc list. haha. and well...haha. guess ur noe where im driving at larh =/

no confidence larh ahaha. so i rather..use this time to really enjoy time with YESMAN! lols. really funnie ppl with really strong spirits! =DDD thanks guys! haha. even if i dun get anyting out of it. really wanna thank your larh ahha.

i said i would show. but i haven't

2009-02-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

i realli hope dun give up applies to me all the time.

driving me forward.

but im stuck here right now. facing reality.

2009-01-30T18:59:00.001+08:00

omg. these few days of school is TIRING. with loads of chionging to do -.- but...haha. at least i get a workaholic mood to head start me with a new year! =D

haha. anw! love YESMAN! ahha. the team members work great together i tink ahhaha =DD yay. but sadly our morale kip going up...den down. den up den down =/ cuz..haha...

reality. but...we will try!

2009-01-29T02:00:00.001+08:00

www.yestotheman.blogspot.com

YAY hahah

2009-01-28T22:48:00.002+08:00

ahh. today is a tiring day -.- partly cuz i slpt at 4 due to...ROCK LEGENDS? hahah. anw! cny concert was o.o cuz u can hardly hear anyting -.- and also partly cuz of my screwed hair that made me wear hoodie for the rest of the day ahha.

i cut my hair! =D 14 bucks though -.- but...better den not cutting LOLL. and the ppl around me -.- jiamin ben ching and van were CAMWHORING IN THE SHOP AHHAHA.

retarded -.- and...well! sp was quite okay i guess haha. except we were sitting on the floor and the floor kept feeling more and more comfy the more we sat on it -.- and everyone were RETARDED AHHAHAHA. anw! the practice roomt he moment u enter...like no air like tad one o.o

and well...im scared for campaign ahha. cuz im not the v? CAPTAIN VICECAP TYPE? o.o ahhhhhhhhhhh. but nevermind.

i aim to have fun! =D

2009-01-27T22:12:00.003+08:00

AHHH. i kinddoff got irritated by the ppl who tell me my hair is LONG. so...i wanted to go out to cut and...NONE OF THE SHOPS ARE OPEN LOLL.

and by impulse i decided to thin my hair myself LOLS. like always -.- but this time round i decided to chop my fringe off cuz it's starting to irritated me -.- lols. and well! it was...more or less bad already until...my father helped me cut the back until it's REALLY bad now. lols -.- it's so bad i wanna go find a place to cut my hair RIGHT NOW. ahha. i never felt so enthu about cutting my hair THIS MUCH. LOLLL.

anw! went PRAWN FISHING today for 3 hours. and i caught...NONE. ahha. partly cuz i was pissed about my hair but wadever lah hahah. den go out dinner...den go home..den we had..RAW PRAWNS + WASABI + XO. lols.

and it tasted great ;) haha. hope my hair isn't THAT bad tmr -.- zzzzzzzzz. lalala. new year. NEW HAIR LOLS

2009-01-27T00:35:00.003+08:00

where does it go from here? and where does it continue from after it turns. ahhhhhhh. born introvert sia -.- zzzzzzzzzz. yea. the INTROVERTEDDD ME.

today was quite sian for me -.- cuz i spoke less den 50 sentences in 6 hours? or sth? ahha. i just spoke VERY little. and sort of zibi'ed on my own. -.- maybe i spoke more den 50 larh ahha. cuz nid to bai nian. but...just din realli have the mood to speak...or just the few that..somehow i don't fit =/

it's not that i cant speak. but it's more like i din bother to try. ahhh. anw! today was like...gambling nite. LOL. my cousin brought here chihuahua. and it was like o.o haha. cute! =D and well =D i got 4 blackjacks in a row. and that's probably the only lucky time i had haha. i betted 1 buck throughout the whole game -.- and i managed to...earn 7 bucks? LOLLL.

since my father is the banker anw -.- no pt winning so much zzz. and well. i hardly even spoke. while i watched and admire the happy ppl around me. then i was thinking...and thinking...

am i good enough?

2009-01-26T02:25:00.003+08:00

woohoo! happy cny ppl =D haha. somehow i have a feeling but...i tink im going to have heart attack soon O.O my heart there kip aching -.- but...who cares! haha. hope it's all rite =D haha

new year! with a realli...wasted day ;) i actualli played playstation ONE for...6 hours? haha. with crash team racing and other nonsense games LOL.. and partly to entertain my 7 year old cousin who seemingly ALWAYS loses to me (duh -.- how i lose him sia zzz. will damn diu lian =/)

ahh. wadever haha. but...tuan yuan fan wasn't so..tuan yuan. lols. all we did was just...eat. din realli talk. and go back to the rooms where we started off...for me...the laptop LOL. i realli SLACKED ALL THE WAY today sia zzz.

so i decided...im not going to touch the comp 2morrow! haha. until...9 at nite or sth? haha. wadever larh =D. to all: HAPPY CNY! new start. fresh hopes =D

2009-01-25T00:48:00.002+08:00

haha. campaignign is driving many ppl mad and there are those who did not join cuz of...the MANY reasons haha, of those the reasons actualli made me feel like withdrawing my application form...

but...i have come to realise! everyone has the right to be chosen lar! haha. so..i shouldn't really care who gets the post or whatever! haha. cuz if the person really did...he/she really deserves it! actually everyone deserves to get a post somehow! after all. everyone was really really enthu doing orientation and...explored their limits all the way! haha. =D i'll just look forward to see who's in the SC comm in the end! ahha. cuz the results are seriously....QUITE EXCITING haha. esp when u have friends in them! haha. all the best ;)

SUDDEN REALISATION

2009-01-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

haha. somehow i realised...i can run damn fast during orientation =/ and i cant get back that speed that i ran. LOLL. im back to my slow pace -.- zzzzzzz. zoom zoom larh! ahha

2009-01-24T19:51:00.003+08:00

LOL. i moved out of another emo phase -.- cuz i decided not to care so much le! LOL =D

i slpt 17.5 hours today -.- zzzzzzzzzzz. 12 til 1. and 3-730. LOL.

2009-01-23T22:58:00.003+08:00

haha. my buddy is FINALLLY gone. and...i was tired for the whole day? and finally at the end of the day..

talked to nicole and got...to know how stupid and naive i am? STUPID. fucking stupid. haha. i wnna do sth that's out of reach. too far to grab haha. cuz i got simply no right to and there's no other way to get that right. everything fits together like puzzle pieces and it really reflects upon who i am. haha.

joke leh! hahah. i got no idea what im thinking now. but i decided to be me. i reallly REALLY wanna be me. sorry if im down or dao or sth if u see me in school or sth. i just...wanna be one who's not someone else. haha.

i dun wan to change. as i see others do.

2009-01-22T23:11:00.002+08:00

i feel damn fked up zzzzzzz. partly cuz i decide to run and not to run once every hour. and the paper isn't telling me WHETHER OR NOT TO RUN.

but i noe some part of me is already sure im running zzz. but i dun understand WHY im running SERIOUSLY. ahha. but all i noe...if i realli run. it will bring a change to me. sth i cant anticipate truthfully =/

it's like...i starting tinking and questioning myself about stuff =/ like after bsp concert. i helped to ban the chairs and stuff for the teachers and stuff? and ban alway and stuff. im one of the few who helped but come to tink of it...

was i helping cuz i noe i was running for sc? and that i wan to INCREASE MY POPULARITY BY BAN'NING THE CHAIRS -.- i dunno larh.

all the wild thoughts. haha.

but hope i'll just stay me and realli..aim for the goals i want at the end of everything =/ i wan a change. but not a change too great =/

anw! the concert was LOLS can. esp cuz we did...MASS DANCE AND ALGORITHM DANCE LOLS. and it was...quite bad LOLL. but well! it's the last day and im so sad =( AWWW. haha

2009-01-21T22:56:00.001+08:00

ahhh. today was damn slpy day. all the lessons were spammage. that's about it.

and well! i tink i wanna run for sc -.- and i dun really care about the results? haha. all i noe is that i got 1 week to campaign and do anyting i want and i can to improve the life of students and teachers! ahha. tad's all i really wanna care -.- cuz...i will improve my life too! LOLL.

and...even if i dun get in...i'll just provide suggestions to the sc's who get in! haha. and me a very on kirin'ian. fail fail larh ahhah.

i dun wanna regret again

2009-01-20T23:49:00.003+08:00

omg. this sentence suddenly struck me: "everyone has to say goodbye" and the rest are jap sentences i dunno. ahha. it's the wish song from dgrayman one haha.

dunno leh =/ suddenly make me tink of stuff LOL. 2009 is here and the old complacent me SHALL BE GONE! haha. i shall start to study HARDER for the stuff i really hecked care about all my life...namely MEP. dunno leh. told myself to study ALOT of times le but fail haha. but this time REALLY must.

and it's stupid how a group of 6 students can also have politics -.- ahha. wadever larh ahha.

2009 orientation is a sad goodbye too. haha. and reality is..HERE. wow.

2009-01-20T23:20:00.002+08:00

AHH. i lost my water bottle today stupid larh ahha. zzzz

well! today was quite..enriching ahha. i guess =/ gp lesson was quite cool. with XUMEI as my chem teacher was FUNNIE lols. weird feeling. haha. but...after that was SLACK. ahah. free periods ALL the way. so it was...

collecting uni? talking? class outing? class tee and stuff? haha. anw! i realised my class is full of pros in their own interest! haha. like tsuen leong in ART. yeling in WEBPAGE DESIGNING. zhikai in his admin stuff LOLL. and the dancer in the class. WHO ELSE. lols. and....a lot of guys in the class except me LOLL. are like DAMNNNN GOOOD AT SPORTS. lols

plus they are pretty...FUNNIE. lols. but it's cool how we are having a class outing soon LOLL.

sentosa was CRAZY haha. it was a sponsered 67 bucks per person whole day trip LOL. with CABLE CAR RIDES. alot of rides and interesting exhibitions. UNDERWATER WORLD! songs of the sea. and ANOTHER BUFFEETTT DINNER. lols. damn tiring though =/

but it was FUNNN. haha. photos on facebook! hahah. soon. (facebook damn convenient -.- lols)

2009-01-19T23:47:00.003+08:00

omg. FREAKING tired -.-

today is the start of the school term. and it's like zzz already. even my buddy was shocked when i told him must wake up at 615 haha. cuz ms meeting at 745. and well. we discussed quite abit about...DHSing. LoL.

WWEEELLL! welcome to 5C37! haha. i just spent 30 bucks on notes and im realli broke now =/ please pay me back asap! haha. =D and...well! the day started with...THE CODE OF CONDUCT! whee. ahhah. how fun LOL. but mr teo was quite...entertaining i guess. lols

ms devi was REALLY funnie. -.- she talked until i kip conking out zz. she say stuff like. project work..*pause* also known as PW. den i realli -.- and OP...*pause* also known as oral presentation. lols. i fought hard! haha.

den it was...recess which i din realli do anyting -.- zzz. and later physics. and we had self intro and stuff. and he say...we not supposed to luff at everything like small children! haha. zzz. tell that to ashley!LOL. must be MATURED YOUNG GENTLEMAN AND LADIES.

den mep self intro also? haha. to mrs ang. well! she's really nice i tink haha. but we must prepare pieces for her by next next week =/ zz. den eat. (got gastrics sia -.-) den go mass pe.

most song sia haha. 10 pumping. 50 jumping. 15 sit ups. 1 set. lols. den 10 hold there pumping. o.o. den run. den do 70 jumps. after that i chiong back to school cuz got MEP. and WOW. i cant concentrate AT ALL.

damn tired zzz. mass pe is O.O

den go chinatown with buddies lorh ahha. ate at vivo first. my buddy amazingly ate...INDIAN FOOD! haha. with curry =D den he say spicy leh hahaha. not bad! nice try leh ahah. =D. but china town was NOT THAT CROWDED. and it was fun ;)

yay!

2009-01-17T23:53:00.001+08:00

wahah. 2day went out with buddies to zoo and nite safari. DAMN tired haha. anw! just to kip this short...

went for band and just about it in the morning with the buddies watching us lorh..den played abit of vball? den go zoo haha.

the zoo changed alot! worth going one ahha. and...we had a BUFFET for lunch HAHAH. it's a 35 bucks per person buffet DAMN COOL haha. and ash and wc went cuz got extra tics? free zoo nite safari and BUFFET. like...WOW haha. anw! i was pulled up to dance this tribal dance -.- how embarrassing ahha. but damn funnie LOLL.

and...HMMM. night safari was quite sian larh haha. cuz...v full and tired. and i ended up dozing off most of the time -.- zzz lols. but...it was fun larh today! must slp early LOL

2009-01-17T00:18:00.002+08:00

i realli realli realli hope....

I CAN JUST BE A HAPPY PERSON =D hhaa! just do stuff for the fun and nth else. ;)

hope...haha. i tink i making a new skin soon! ;)

2009-01-16T23:33:00.002+08:00

HELLO! im back from hostel and...DINNER at 9 plus LOL. just went turtle house to eat and...went hostel to fetch my wonderful buddy who HAS THE SAME PHONE AS ME NOW. wow.

hhaha. but i tink is his sis choose one so...yay haah. anw! he's the same! with the same hairstyle everyting. even his character is the same -.- zzz. but wadever larh. one nite past so damn fast le ;)

anw! orientation ended and im dead tired due to the high amts of energy i use everyday zzz. i hardly even emo'ed and zi bi'ed haha. almost every moment was energy consuming LOL.

anw k8 rocks larh srsly ahha. i kept running like siao cuz i was like on drugs or sth -.- duno haha, and..they followed behind leh! omg. haha. but it was fun larh! we were enthu! fast! but...somehow we just had no luck. and...no brains? haha.

and we had quite a few number of really funnie station masters. lols. like the ones who disappeared from the station during the school run ahha. all the funnnie stuff larh -.-

but i enjoyed it larh LOLL. actualli i dunno wad to blog about also -.- dun feel like recap'ping everyting here haha. cuz no mood? hha. all i wanna say is that...

YAY. haha. i had loads of contentment screaming and stuff LOL. and doing retarded stuff. but somehow...i just cant lose my voice LOLL. and kirin won the overal champ for orientation. hope we can last til the end of the year ;)

and to some other ppl...who sadly i feel srsly QUITE disappointed. if 4 days of orientation can really break ur friendships with so many other ppl. i really cant say anyting can i? so much for faith we held close to our hearts.

2009-01-16T19:28:00.000+08:00

hah. i love my bed larh! ahha. finally ;) lols. the past 3 days were chionging and hionging! haha. but it was fruitful and fun! =DDD hha. was rather high and on which makes the spirits go REALLY high ahha.

blogmore later! hahah. just woke up and nid to fetch...THE YOU NOE WHO. lols =D

2009-01-13T20:29:00.002+08:00

wahh. tired T.T haha.

competition between houses damn fierce...=/ somemore kirin last year top... zzzz. so must be more enthu and high and FASTTT. ahha. but it sucked esp in stuff like...dragonboating? haha. when u try ur best but u dun get first in the end -.- zzz

and...SCHOOL RUN? haha. when u be so damn enthu and run so damn fast to realise...the clues aren't at the places u tink they are at? or...when we go to the TRAP station? haha. or...when the station masters aren't there when we were at the station? zzz.

damn tiring ahha. and damn competitive. haha. but at least i sort of...become more hyper today? partly thanks to weijia to after we did REALLY STUPID dares like...

GO TO THE VEGETARIAN STORE TO ASK IF THEY SELL PORK?
GO TO THE NOODLE STORE TO SELL IF THEY SELL RICE? (the auntie scold me can LOL. in the end i dun dare buy le haah)
AND GO TO THE KOREAN STORE TO ASK FOR SUSHI LOL.

and alot of food stuff -.- all the nonsense haha.

2009-01-12T23:07:00.003+08:00

zzz. emo lah. not cause my house isn't cool. not cause my class isn't good. not cause i din score well for o levels hcl...

shockingly i got A2. damn surprised. usually i cant even get passed...55? aiya whatever larh.

originally thought i can enter school enthu'ly today. cheer loudly. do alot of stuff enthu'ly. but realised...i cant la. haha. maybe im just not born for this kind of stuff -.- in a foreign area? with people i totally don't really noe. and it's damn loserish cause im not the kind who is super extroverted? haha.

joke leh. to think i even thought of THAT. -.- own lah. quite sad to see other ppl blend in so fast lorh o.o like they totally having fun le haha. i...haha. i dunno but im havin fun lar :)

well. today din really start out my day that fine? haha. was tired from the start le. how far u tink i can go? lols. without any sugar nor coffee haha. and constantly feeling outcasted was even worse -.- haha. 2 more yrs =/

aiya whatever larh. probably try harder lorh. i mean...what else can i do? haha. be a ... and just mug whole day ah ahha. orientation is fun ahha. group's fine and stuff.

i think im the problem -.- zzz

sorry to ppl i dao today! not realli in the...good mood haha